Standing outside one evening, I overheard a mom of a very energetic four year old ask a friend of mine if it ever gets easier. My friend, being far nicer than I, told her, “yes, it does”.
This exhausted and frazzled mom was lucky that I was not in closer proximity when she asked the question, because she would not have liked my answer-
“No. It sure as hell does not.”
I remember being that young, naive mom, simply going through the motions due to total exhaustion, as a tiny human ran circles around me. In talking to other moms who were at the same stage in life as I , we would lament that “It could not possibly become more difficult than it is now.”
Oh, but it did.
When they are little you can fix most of their problems with a kiss and a snuggle. Bigger kids have bigger problems, and the hurting is far more intense. You want to go back to the days when a kiss would make it all better, but it unfortunately no longer works that way.
Having young children is physically exhausting,
but older children are mentally draining. They experience parental pressures and peer pressures and scholastic pressures of such a magnitude that we could not have even imagined when we were their age. These pressures, whether applied internally or externally, weigh heavily on them, and as the outside observer, cheerleader and counselor, we as parents cannot help but share in their feeling of stress.
There are sleepless nights when they are out, and there are also sleepless nights when they are in their rooms. There is rarely a time when you feel in control or even somewhat knowledgeable of what is going on in their heads.
Parenting is a job that can suck every last bit of joy out of you, and then in a blink of an eye, can fill your heart with so much pride that you feel as if you will explode.
And here is the one thing that no one ever tells you-
No matter how old you are, or how old your children are,
you will never stop worrying about them.
They may be out of your house but they are never out of your heart or your mind.
There will be those moments sprinkled throughout,
which will make you so glad that you took the parenting plunge. They do not have to happen frequently for you to experience the intense feeling of pride and euphoiria that can be experienced when the stars align and you have an enjoyable time being with your birds.
You will not understand this now-
it is not possible for you to comprehend this from your vantage point, but trust me when I say-
“They grow up fast. Savor the time you have with your bird while he is young. Enjoy those cuddles and that tiny hand that wants to hold yours. Let him play in the rain and jump in the mud puddles. Delight in his belly laughs and early morning visits in your bed while you can.
No, it doesn’t get easier,
but the secret to making it through the rough times is to remember the, lovable, good person he truly is.